1. First, the obvious: No more periods
“I never had a regular period. It was never consistent on how many days it would last. It was never consistent on flow. It was never consistent on if I would feel cramps or not. Bloated or not. This was especially difficult because I’ve always traveled for work, often to developing countries. So whenever I went anywhere—Rwanda, Cambodia, Haiti—I always had to reserve a ridiculous amount of space in my suitcase for products because getting them where I was going wouldn’t be easy. Then when I’d pack up for the day to go wherever we were working, I had to make sure that bag was stocked with what I needed—ibuprofen, tampons, pads. Then, if I felt like I was getting my period, I was like, Holy shit! I have to run to the bathroom.… Uh, can I run to the bathroom? Am I in the middle of a meeting? Is there even a bathroom within a mile of here? It was just an enormous amount of planning. And I remember about a year after menopause, I was like, I don’t have to plan anymore!” —Miriam, 57, architect, Boston
2. Sex is stress-free, and you feel good in your own skin
“You get to have sex and not worry about getting pregnant! And, yes, you can maintain an active and healthy sex life. Your body does change. I gained weight. I’m divorced and I date, so at first, I was like, Oh my God, will I no longer be attractive to men? The answer is, they’re still into it and want to get naked with you. There’s a freedom that comes with no longer being consumed by trying to be a size zero. I really don’t give a crap now about a few pounds here and there. You realize that it’s really not so much about how the body looks, but how it functions. If it’s functioning well but there’s a little bit of extra padding, who cares?” —Carolyn, 57, attorney, Sandy Hook, Connecticut
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3. On the other hand, you’re no longer a sexual object
“The very best thing for me being on the other side of menopause is being treated like a regular person instead of prey. I never realized how much my life had been informed by the way men treated me like a potential sexual conquest until they stopped treating me that way. It's amazing to have an interaction with a guy now, like at a grocery store, and not have to deal with him maybe hitting on me, or worse. That worry, that fear, was such a constant part of my life that I barely even noticed it. I spent my life from age 12 to 47 being hassled by men. It infected everything—my work situations, just walking down the street. But now guys interact with me like a person because I’m just, like, an older lady to them now. Some women might mourn that; I think it’s awesome. I love it.” —Laura, 53, documentary filmmaker, Los Angeles
4. You shed years of self-doubt
“Perimenopause and menopause help you slow down and become mindful of living your life to the fullest. I started thinking about all the things I’d done in my life. I had been a nurse. I had been a litigation attorney. I became a stay-at-home mom when I felt my daughter needed me. I loved each one of those phases, but a lot of what I did in them was for other people. Now I thought, What do I really want to do? I decided to open a bookstore. It was a cozy and welcoming place. We had book clubs, creative writing courses, and events, like readings. I closed it after six years because it’s very hard financially to keep a bookstore going. But I did it. And that still feels amazing. Also amazing is the way going through this process that every woman goes through makes you comfortable in who you are. There is just this level of confidence that you achieve.” —Robyn, 65, retired nurse, attorney, and bookstore owner, Latham, New York
5. It's me, me, me time
“Menopause allows you to become selfish about your own self-care and self-love. It is a wonderful opportunity to learn about what makes you tick on your terms.” —Maureen, 62, school district manager, Celebration, Florida
Any content published by Oprah Daily is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be regarded as a substitute for professional guidance from your healthcare provider.
In a refreshingly candid conversation with Oprah Daily Insiders, Oprah, Maria Shriver, Drew Barrymore, and doctors Sharon Malone, Heather Hirsch, and Judith Joseph, we set the record straight on all things menopause. Become an Oprah Daily Insider now to get access to this conversation and the full “The Life You Want” Class library.
