I only realized I was a “late bloomer” when a comedy fan said to me, “—and you did this all so late in life?”
I looked at her and thought, I did?
Who knew 44 was late?
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As a stay-at-home mother of three, I didn’t have time to notice I was 44! I was too busy keeping track of the tiny rubber bands attached to the braces inside my kids’ mouths.
At 44, all I knew was my youngest was now in a full day of school and I could finally sit down, take a deep breath, and realize I was frustrated with my life. Maybe this was why my friends called me “a caged tiger.” I was sassy and short-tempered, depressed, confused.
But I had one thing going for me: I was a funny caged tiger.
Somehow I ended up in the basement of a Mexican restaurant at something called an “open mic.” Random-looking people were standing at the mic in front of the audience, telling jokes and getting laughs. What? Is this an actual job? I had to see for myself. I stood at the mic, 30 smiling faces watching me expectantly. Suspicious, I said, “White people do this?” They laughed.
That was my first laugh. My mind was blown, and an obsession was born.
Apparently, my superpower is that I’m oblivious to the obvious.
In my defense, I’m an Indian immigrant. Jobs that don’t require years of schooling and a professional license weren’t on my radar. I never considered joking about my mother-in-law publicly, because it’s not what we do. Indian mothers-in-law can douse us in kerosene, and we have to show respect.
However I got here, who cares? Here’s what being a “late bloomer” taught me:
- Make the race against the clock your biggest ally. Put your blinders on and get to work. You have no time to lose. This single-minded focus allows you to disregard noise that is not productive, keeping you on track through tempting detours. Companies like McDonald’s, KFC, The RealReal, The Home Depot, and more were started by people over 50!
- You’ve survived life’s complications (in-laws, kids, flat tires), and you’re still here. The odds indicate that you’ll also make it through this new journey of building a business.
- By now you have a better bullshittery radar, so mistakes will be less costly. (Such as: The extended warranty is a rip-off!)
- Many people will underestimate you—use that. Let people believe you have no clue and/or are “lost.” They’ll ignore you, and that will be a gift. There’s no better luxury than low expectations; everything you do will be impressive.
- You may have family or friends to lean on and put to use—maybe they help with technology, maybe they have initial seed capital lined up, or maybe they just tell you every day, “You can do it!” without your paying $350 to a life coach.
- You’ve made peace with how you look—if you haven’t, you’ve figured out the right dermatologist, facialist, and iPhone filter!
- You’ve accepted that you’re too old for high heels, tight jeans, crop tops! Sneakers are the secret behind my momentum. I dumped heels and jeans and found my new balance.
- You’re wise enough to know that the devil is in the details, and yet you can’t sweat the small stuff. It’s a delicate dance, obsessing over getting it right, and letting go when good enough is good enough.
- Sisterhood! You know its importance. You’ve stopped craving male attention and are ready to build with your allies. Sure, some guys out there will open doors, too, but we’re not holding our breath.
- Your need for money is more urgent. Big responsibilities lie ahead. When someone offers an “opportunity” to work “in exchange for exposure,” it’s a big fat no.
Starting late means you fully appreciate Alexander Hamilton’s “I am not throwing away my shot,” because you can’t! There’s no time to start over. And this one is important. You have to invest in your dream—fully. Once you discover your “right work,” it’s not the time to be frugal. Hire a good publicist, the better graphic designer, the smarter social media coach. Outsource everything you’re uninterested in, and focus on your core competency.
I can’t tell you how many times I see a mother paying for tennis coaches, SAT tutors, tony summer camps, top orthodontists—but they’re afraid to pay for a professional logo.
You think Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, was like, “I’ll watch this YouTube video about building my own website”? No! She knew that learning to sell and move product to the fine folks at Neiman Marcus was a better use of her time.
Remember—late bloomers are still bloomers. To be able to say, “I found my calling and I am killing it” is amazing, and who cares when it happens? When you see a beautiful rose, do you ever think, Oh, this one looks like it bloomed later than the others? So what if it happens on your last day on earth! You lived until you didn’t. Isn’t that the point? I’m writing jokes until the end. I’ll sell tickets to my funeral. Whoever greets me on the other side will have to pry the microphone out of my cold, dead hands.
